Story 69

Share the Burdens of Life

My name is Debora. I am 49 years old now. Four and a half years ago I went online to find friends and hoping to meet a good man. I had never done anything like that before, and I was so honest to everyone that I shouted newbie. I told what I looked like, about my weight, my disabilities. I am overweight, have a limp and limited walking (disability) white haired and toothless, without my false teeth. All that mainly due to an incurable disability I contracted in 1980. I also had the care of elderly parents in the home. I could not relocate. On the plus side I am a nurse and at the time I was able to work. I earned what was really good money. The problem with that was I never had any of it left as I supported the family. I also had an 16 yr. old daughter, whom I spoiled, but who loved me with a passion. Believe me it is hard to find a good man out there today. It is even harder to find one that will even think about taking on these impossible odds.

Then I met Mike. He was in the middle of a divorce. His wife found someone else on the Internet. He was adrift in a lost world after 24 years of what he thought was a happy marriage. For months we just talked he was torn up over his marriage and the fact she would be taking his disabled son out of the state. After a while we decided to meet. He came to Texas. We met and believe me neither of us had visualized each other accurately.  We hit it off immediately. For 3 wonderful days we spent getting to know one another. When he left it was to plan for me to visit his friends and family where he lived. I had to make arrangements for family and job, then I was going to visit him for a week and meet all his kids and grandkids and his friends. This I did, and it was beautiful. I even had a small run in with his soon to be ex-wife. It seemed to be fine for her to have someone but he was supposed to wait and suffer and see if she would be happy. If not he was supposed to be right
there to take her back, until she found someone else.

When I went home it was like a part of me was gone. I had not really thought of anything permanent. I had to many responsibilities and he in a divorce. But the more we talked the worse the loneliness became. Soon we were both running up huge long distance bills, for the computer wasn't enough, we had to hear one another. Then he came down and met my family and my friends. He was taken into the fold so to speak. We are a very close family. It was apparent to all that we would be together soon, so he was welcomed into our family. This was frightening to Mike as he had never had a loving family. From youth to now he lived, so to speak on the outside looking in. Here he was in another world. When he left to go back I thought, well, that he was gone from my life. I was adrift. It was only three days later when he called and he asked me if I could fly up. He had something he wanted to talk to me about. I made quick arrangements and took off. He met me at the airport, and there he asked me if I would consider him as a husband. We both knew we had to wait for the divorce so what he wanted to know was if I would wait for him.

We talked about it for 2 days. Finally we decided. He would sell his home and move to my state. He said he did not want to stay there anyway. He wanted to end that chapter of his life. Four months later he had moved to my home. The only stipulation I had made, was that we live together for 1 yr., before we get married. That would give us time to personally get to know one another. The divorce went through. He was going to school and working, part time. 10 months of what I thought was heaven. Then he got cold feet and he left. I was devastated. Just a short while passed and he came to me and told me about the problems. He was scared. He asked me to forgive him for leaving as he did. He asked me to marry him. He asked me to go where he had been living while he gave a week notice. He said he would not be without me anymore.

We got our marriage license there but we came home and had the service from our home. With all my family. Yes, there was some problems to face with the family, because he ran away. He was as honest with them as he had been with me. We married in a little ceremony in our living room exactly to the minute of the time the law allows on the marriage license.

It has been a bumpy 3 and 1/2 yrs. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong for us. We bought a new mobile home that was no good. I got hurt from it. I became totally disabled, due to it. He blamed himself. We lost my stepfather and Mom was very ill. It has been one problem to another. Financial problems, because of the inability of my not being able to work and help at all. I earned 5 times what he did. I was only going to work 2 days a week and that would more than cover the bills he did not pay. Due to the home, the disability and the illness, all the hospital bills, we filled bankruptcy.

We have had one thing right after another fall on us, yet together we have managed to hang in there. We met on AOL, we dated, we had our problems, we married. He and I still face hardship. Like any couple in today's world, who doesn't. I urge everyone to use the Internet. You can meet more people on it in a short time than you could ever hope to in your lifetime. I also urge you to meet face to face. Just like any couple you need to get to know one another. Learn each other, both the good and the bad, before you take steps to marriage. If you are lucky, like I consider myself to be, you will find your other half. The one that makes you feel whole. Mike and I know we are older, we have both had our families, and it was not with each other. Now all we invision is to be together for as long as God will allow us both to live.

It is a blessing to have another set of shoulders to share all the burdens of life. I thank the good Lord for allowing someone my age to meet Mike. Without the Internet it would not have happened.

Debora