I read some of your things online, while just searching one day for some comfort in my pain of losing my love - online.

We met each other in a chat room. She was full of life and she seemed to always lift me up whenever I needed it. Well, days went by and I stopped going into that chat room. She Instant messaged me one afternoon and told me that she had missed me. Weeks after that, and even months we began getting closer to each other, growing close, bonding and I fell in love with her, she fell in love with me. The problem was that she was married, 10 years older than me, and she had 3 boys. I know this sounds bad, but believe me I tried to fight it. I couldn't, and she was so nice and sweet to me.  I had never felt this way before about anyone. But months went on and we decided to be together, see no one else, and just be with each other and soon meet.

Well the meeting part never happened:-( I found out in our time of being together that she had been emailing her old online boyfriend love letters and being quite sexual with him. She had me emotionally and never have I recovered we were together for a year. Emotionally I can't function and I hope one day, someone will come along outside of the internet and show me the right way.

Just a little note to people, Don't EVER fall for anyone online unless you know them inside out. The internet is a dangerous place. It was in my wrong, that I actually would Call her house, but I couldn't till after her husband went to work and her boys were in bed. I've had many ulcers and became very depressed. I found church to be uplifting, and it's raised my self-esteem quite a bit. I'm still trying to "let go" I confronted her about the letters that her old online boyfriend had been sending me, to try to help me to get away from her. I'm sad, yet happy that he did that for me. I confronted her about the letters on the phone, I could hardly speak. The pain was so great, how could someone I have never met have this much affect on me? Love is unbelievable. I don't know whether to love her, or hate her anymore.

She still tries to email me, and I've blocked her from Instant messaging me. I know that, in time I will heal, but the best thing that came out of this was, I grew, and I know a lot more than what I did before all of this. I have learned to take time, and to look deeper into the situation of Love, or being with someone. And not getting involved with someone that has already been married.