At the end of 1996 I became ill with arthritis (rheuma), which made stay at home for a long time. I was already the proud owner of a computer, but I did not spend much time on the Internet. This time I went more online more and longer, and soon I was caught by the phenomena CHAT.

The time I spent on the chat made me realize that I became ADDICTED to chatting. Through chat, I have made contact with people all over the world, and even made a trip to New York to friends ( Ruth and Fred ) whom I have met in the chat box.

My present partner and loving wife Veronica was given to me by the internet too. Here is our story:

In the beginning of 1997 I was chatting in the box "Holland" with the program PIRCH. One night, after a long time online, together wit my now ex partner, I wanted to stop and go offline. She told me not to do that and told me to look for someone else to chat with. She was in the Holland room too and said: "see there is a name WENDY,  go and talk to her!" I agreed and in no time I was in a good conversation with Wendy and we were talking about private things soon.

Veronica as Wendy (nickname) and me Fred with the nickname TomCruise soon found out we had a lot in common, and agreed to meet again the next day same place. Lots of long late nights followed, and soon after about 2 or 3 weeks, we realized that we felt more for each other than just being friends.

Inside the chat box there was a small picture of me so she could see to whom she was talking. So I asked for a picture too. And I loved it :). We went on chatting and mailing and also made phone calls with each other, then things went fast. One day she told me she had to come to my town for picking up pictures she had made, and I used that to invite her and her partner to my home for a visit.

She agreed and visited us a week later. It was the first time we met in real life and both found one and another very attractive.  That day we gave each other the first kiss and it felt great.

After this meeting a lot of things became clear for Veronica. Being in a bad relationship for almost 11 years, where there was a lot of mental and sexual abuse, she finally could take the step to leave her partner. Wanting to do that for some years but just couldn't because she was afraid of him. She took that decision because for the first time in her life, she had found some one who listened to her instead of telling her what to do. Now she was leaving him!

In that same period my partner (Sandra) was doing the same with me. After I went on a trip to New York with my oldest daughter and came back she told me she had left me. For Sandra my affair with Veronica made her make the same step. She had fallen in love with someone else too and our relationship was not going well for over 6 months earlier. The above is just a simple explanation of something very complex.

Things went into a high gear and in the same period Veronica wanted to move out,  my partner moved out, so I was alone in my house and Veronica had to go to a very small simple place to live, on which she had to wait for at least 3 months more. I offered  her to come and live with me, and so happened.

Our first months together were mixes of love, pain and grief, getting through the pain of our failed former relationships. But after a certain period we started to pick up our lives again, and after 5 months I asked her to marry me. We are married for 4 years now and have a daughter called Milla.

WHAT WE WANT TO TELL WITH THIS STORY IS THAT IT IS VERY WELL POSSIBLE TO FALL IN LOVE ON THE INTERNET AND
EVEN GET A RELATIONSHIP OUT OF IT.

BUT REMEMBER THIS:
IF YOU ARE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS NOT THAT GOOD ANYMORE, THEN YOU DO TAKE THE RISK IT WILL COME TO AN END SOONER THAN YOU HAD PLANNED. THE RISK IS THERE TOO IN  REAL  LIFE   OF COURSE WHEN YOU MEET OTHER PEOPLE IN PUBLIC. I THINK CHAT IS NOT A BIGGER RISK THAN REAL LIFE.  BUT WHEN YOU ARE SINGLE THEN IT SURE IS SOMETHING TO DO.
 

Many people cannot imagine that it is possible to fall in love on a computer screen with some text. But it is just "that text" that makes you feel connected with that persons inside and not how the person looks. The screen can give you the privacy you want to have. Later the visual part comes in and yes, it can be disappointing, but also very satisfying.

The internet is of course like IN REAL LIFE no guarantee for success in a relationship. It is nothing more than a NEW and MODERN  MEDIUM to get to know people. The fact that you can do that from your lazy chair now is a nice thing. There is more than enough fraud, and yes, there are people who pretend to be something/body else, but with some experience you know how to separate them from the good people.

Take one advice: Be honest!

Fred H.
The Netherlands.

You can read more about us at our home page: http://home-1.wolmail.nl/~ac46841/