As editor of this column I've on numerous occasions met the subjects of the stories that are published in person. I've never been closer to any of the couples than I had the opportunity in this case. For me, the story began on March 10, 2000 with an e-mail that arrived from Quebec, Canada.

Laurie's First Email

Hi Andrea,
I have been communicating with my darling Ratko for nearly one year now. We met during the NATO bombardment of Serbia and I spent every night of the bombing online with him, helping him keep his sanity as he lived through the heart of the bombing in Belgrade, hoping the army wouldn’t call for a general mobilization of the male population (standard practice in times of war), and ducking the bombs (which were falling). I am Canadian and we have been heartbroken as he has been unable to get a Canadian visa at this time and so now, I am preparing to meet  him in your city, Budapest, in a country that will allow us both entry and where we hope to find the magic IRL that we have found on the telephone and through our daily e-mails and chats.

I do not know if someone might be interested to hear it, but our story is a testament to the deepest friendship and belief in dreams I have ever experienced. Sincerely, Laurie (Poet)

The Plot

I did not have to wait too long.  The response to my request arrived that evening with Laurie's letter in which she tells the story of their meeting with Ratko:

Hi Andrea!
Nice to get your response :) I have been so busy... this is all so overwhelming for me... going to a country I have never been to before where I will meet a man I know so intimately but have not yet seen. You asked me to tell you more about our story and I will.   What would you like to know?

Ratko is a 37 year old Serbian who lives in Belgrade. I am a 36 year old Canadian who lives in Quebec. When the YU-NATO war began last year I watched it unfold on t.v. and began to realize that this was the first war in the history of the world where it would be possible to communicate with someone who was actually suffering through war via the magic of the internet. I was also trying to put together a humanitarian aid project called “Tou-tous pour Kosovo” (Teddy Bears for Kosovo) wherein I would gather and ship teddy bears to the war-affected children in FRY.  I began by trying to find someone in Kosovo who spoke English (via ICQ) but I couldn't find anyone.  This guy named Ratko kept appearing at the top of my search list.    I didn't want to talk to a guy from Belgrade – after all, Serbs were the enemy! But despite the different parameters I put in the Icq search engine, he was always at the top of the list. Fine, I thought. Fine, I'll try him. Maybe he knows something about Kosovo. Besides, he was my age, spoke English, was a computer graphics designer and liked dogs. At least I had something in common with him.

One thing you should know about me Andrea is I am persistent :) So when Ratko didn't respond to my first e-mail I sent him a second one. And another.  Then a fourth.      Finally one Saturday night I saw him online (ICQ). "Look..." I messaged him. "I just want to learn more about the war there, about your people's view on it. Please write me, I won't keep you long and I'm not looking for romance."   He answered me back.: "ok, ok."  We started speaking at midnight my time and talked till 4 a.m., and neither one of us wanted to leave. We met the next night, and the next, and the next, and at the end of that week I knew something special was afoot.

We would like very much to tell you our story. We do not know anyone in Budapest and I really would feel better meeting someone there. We are arriving Saturday afternoon. He is coming to meet me at the airport around 3:00. Have you any suggestions as to when or how to meet?
Regards from Laurie

The Biggest Day, or the Biggest Mistake of My Life?

Laurie's third letter written the night before her departure:

Hi Andrea,
Well, our journey is about to start. I will be leaving my hometown tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. to board a bus to Montreal where I will leave from the airport at 6:45 p.m. Ratko will take the long bus ride from Belgrade to Budapest on Saturday early in the morning. His bus arrives at 3:00, my plane at 3:10 in the afternoon. He is coming out to meet me and we will be taking a shuttle bus to the hotel.   I am  staying at the Kempinski but just for the first few nights.  I do not have that kind of money :)

I have just finished packing and am so tired and so excited and nervous. I feel like I am meeting my best friend for the first time which is a strange thing to say. I look forward to talking with you, especially if possible I would like to meet you for a few minutes maybe after our arrival at the airport, at the hotel in the lobby maybe or for a coffee there? We will be tired but I would like someone to be there to record our first moments together. Ratko is bringing a friend's camera. And also as a woman who will be jet lagged, tired, and a bit scared in a new country with a man she has never met and has travelled halfway across the world, well, I would appreciate the presence of another woman for a little while, you know, in case anything is really wrong and I have made a terrible mistake, although I am sure it is not - just my nervousness :)

Well, I should get a few hours sleep at least, wound up and really excited now... Look forward to talking,
Laurie

Meeting in Budapest

I knew the exact time of arrival from Laurie's letter but I really hoped to avoid the strain of waiting for the big meeting at the airport. Instead, armed with a camera and a mobile phone 'just in case', I've waited in the lobby of the hotel Kempinski. Since I've never seen a photo of either of them, my hope was that I would recognize the couple from their behavior, gestures and vibes. I did not have a difficult time: Among the self-important business crowd, mature couples and bustling tourists the figures of Laurie and Ratko immediately stood out as they came in through the revolving doors. I recognized them immediately. Their faces all at once reflected exhaustion, happiness and relief. Laurie confessed to Ratko with a giggle of the precautionary measures she'd arranged, for which, by this time was clear to all of us, there was no need. The camera was busily snapping and for me there could not have been a more satisfying chore at the time.

Engagement on the Third Day

We've continued taking photos the following day along the Duna Corso. The photos taken then - more precisely those that were not victim to the now famous 'I Love You' virus - are still treasured in Laurie and Ratko's album.

"You can't imagine how wonderful it is to be finally together after all this time!" We simply have no need for words. We've talked so much on the net and the phone during the past year -- all we were able to do is send words to each other -- that now the best thing is to remain quiet and enjoy each other's presence in silence." -- they confess.

The third day when the phone rang, I was not really surprised anymore when Ratko announced: "Andrea, we've decided to get married!! We are planning to have the ceremony right here and now in Budapest, would you be one of our witnesses?" Happily I agreed and the following day together we went to the town hall to see if there may be any hurdle in the way of the plan. It soon turned out that there was.

Justice of the Peace

We arrived at the Town Hall in an appropriately elevated mood and we were directed to the Justice of the Peace who deals with foreign citizens. I translate the desires of the happy couple, but the response soon douses the celebration. We can hardly keep track of the list of documents that must be obtained in order to be allowed the ceremony.

In the meantime Ratko is attempting to start a conversation with the official who's churning out the 'must have' list. "Aren't you even interested in how we've met?" "No, I'm not interested" she responds with indifference and she would continue with her list... "That's all right, we'll tell you anyway. The internet. We've met on the internet." "On the internet???? Hmmmm, we've not had one like that before. We've had a lot of things, but not the internet." There appears something that might resemble a spark of interest in her eyes. Laurie and Ratko look at each other with mischief recalling the time they met and pull each other close with a smile. The official, who truly must have witnessed many things in her career added quietly: "I can see that love is overwhelming right now!!! I hope that a year from now you'll be just as happy!"

Scurrying for the Papers

Why is it that one’s entire life is haunted by assembling documents??? Laurie and Ratko must acknowledge the fact that for a wedding in Budapest they need a pile of official documents and an official translation of those into Hungarian. They each returned to their respective countries with a checklist of things to assemble, translate and certify. They made plans to return to Budapest upon the mandatory waiting period expired after the submission of their request. In the meantime, Laurie spent much time applying for jobs teaching English as a second language in Hungary and the couple mulled the possibity of Ratko staying in town to find work as a graphic designer.

Until it was time to go home, of course, they've made use of every moment. Budapest proved to be a very romantic city indeed.

Three Months of Uncertainty

After the painful parting, they were back to the virtual relationship. This was a time of intense e-mail exchanges and tearful telephone conversations.
Laurie had hoped to return to Hungary to teach ESL but in the meantime started a new career opportunity: Working along the Canadian-USA border. "It is ironic that  I must  sometimes see the very thing that has happened to me:  Separations" -- she writes.  In her spare time she pursues her passion of writing poetry, novels and of course e-mail.

Although Ratko is a talented web graphic designer, he receives fewer and fewer assignments in Serbia. Those companies that survived and hadn't gone out of business have a difficult time meeting their employee payroll. It is unlikely that their tight budget would allow them to pay for complex web designs. Laurie succeeded in getting him a telework opportunity from a Canadian firm. His talents proved marketable and he can hardly wait to prove himself in his new country.

In the post-Milosevic Yugoslavia political direction could head in a number of directions and for this reason Laurie is constantly urging Ratko to leave the country rather than wait until the last minute should war break out or the borders be closed which could cancel their plans for a joint future. Just as the required documents are gathered there is an unexpected turn of events. An e-mail in all caps stating: the Budapest wedding is canceled. Due to some miracle, Ratko received a U.S. visa. Before the officials may have a change of heart, he is on a plane. After a three month absence from each other he can finally embrace Laurie in New York. For her this is the first visit to the Big Apple and it was to meet him.

Shot-Gun Wedding

They travel north of New York to Vermont, which is close to Quebec and they hold the wedding in a small border town. Laurie describes the events:

After Ratko got the U.S. visa we rented a condo and were staying on top of a ski hill in Vermont near the Quebec border. We were planning a small wedding in Vermont but in the end decided to marry with just the two of us present, although I felt guilty and invited my parents at the last minute. I ran in to a small wedding shop on main street 15 minutes before the wedding to buy a dress and change out of my jeans while my father and Ratko waited outside. The clerk gave me a bouquet and some flowers from the model in the window as I dashed out the door - it was very comical! We were married by the waters of Lake Memphremagog in a small town called Newport by a nice woman named Rosemarie Hartley. It was very romantic. The sun was bright, the waters were blue, and there was a wonderful breeze that afternoon.

Struggles

The letter from Laurie in the new year is full of hopes but she can't conceal her bitterness.

I had to work on Christmas day but spent time with Ratko. I believe we have had enough obstacles in our path this year. We opened our stockings from Santa Claus and our gifts that night.  It is sad that there is some distrust regarding people from his part of the world and it is hard not to become bitter. He is much better at dealing with it than I am but it is depressing sometimes. We have been waiting so long it seems to begin a normal life…Anyway, I will not complain to you anymore :) If I think back that one year ago we still had no hope of seeing each other and one year later we are married, our appartment is beginning to take shape, and we spent Christmas together I just smile. Life is too funny:-)
Laurie

Visit the website of Laurie and Ratko at www.ratkoonline.com