Dear Andrea,
I've found your site accidentally while surfing and was stunned to read about people who've met on the internet and were able to not only become friends but a couple.  I too have a story for you.

How did it begin?

In April on a cool spring  night I was a bit bored and so I sat down at the computer and ended up spending an hour in one of the chat rooms for 30-something.  Among those present in the room was a gentlemen with the nick ‘Belgian’.  I must have said something that arouse his interest because we began talking, first in the public domain then moved into a private room.  Even our first encounter was unusual.  It turned out that he lives in Belgium where he is a manager of a school.  Our conversation was in Hungarian and as I've found out his school is in contact with schools in Hungary and they also have a student exchange program.  In order to facilitate better communications he undertook learning Hungarian.  Within two years he acquired such advances skills that during our conversation sometimes I forgot that he was not a native to Hungarian.  He did make some mistakes, of course, but those were cute.

What made him at first interesting to me was the awe with which he spoke about my country and the affection that he praised the beauty of our language.  He had an incredible knowledge of Hungary's culture, literature and history and this won me over.  Initially, we exchanged e-mail a couple of times during a week.  Then later he was the one who first asked for a picture of me.  We spoke on the chat after I've sent it to him and he said "You are so beautiful, I've always dreamed of a woman like You."  Initially, I took it as empty flattery and went along with it but in time I began to expect and anxiously await his letters.  I felt elated reading his adoring letters.  Not long after that he sent me a photo of himself and I was almost afraid to open the file.  It would have hurt if I had to be disappointed, but thankfully that is not what happened.  It was a pleasant blond, blue eyed face that smiled at me from my monitor.

Later I've found out that he is married and has two older children.  He told me that his marriage has been deteriorating and he would like to make changes in his life.  I guess many people will judge me and my values and this is really not what I wanted either, but I was simply not able to tear myself away from him despite of what he confided to me.  He constantly told me that he can not provide me with what I would want, and I would always respond with ‘I’m not asking for anything from you, but simply enjoy your company.’

The time came even in our relationship when we mutually professed love for one another.  There were long, intimate letters daily and we talked on the net for hours, sometimes late into the night.  We were loving each other with words but there were gifts also, at first virtual and later real.  We've expanded our means of communications to the telephone on a daily basis.  There was virtually no time during the day when I was not thinking of him or recalled his words or poems that he wrote to me.

It was in July when we decided that we could not take the virtuality any longer and that we should meet!  I was to fly to meet him, but the day before I was to purchase the ticket he said he'd changed his mind.

At first I was very much hurt, but understood when in a long letter he explained that he is concerned that I will not think him good enough for me – he is 43 and I'm 30.  He thought himself too old for me and also that a meeting in person will remove the magic of the virtual.  I understood and myself realized what I would have done: going all the way to Belgium to disrupt the stability of a family man.  In all honesty, I was embarrassed of the fact even in front of myself although both of us felt that we belonged together.

It didn't matter that I wrote to him that the game was over.  The letters that came in response sounded so desperate that I could not bear to leave them unanswered.  If such a statement could be made, it seemed that after it appeared that we may lose each other, we were even more passionately determined to hang on to each other.  The sheer force of the feeling that had swept both of us along was tremendous.  There were times when I thought that I am confusing fantasy with reality, but somewhere I knew that the thoughts and feelings that arrived through the machine were in fact real and addressed to me.

We've experienced beautiful and unforgettable months 'together'.  To have a better chance to feel each other we've exchanged video cassettes which confirmed to both of us that our feelings were real.

At the moment, he is enthusiastically studying toward a degree that he can utilize in Hungary.  Our conversations have thinned out somewhat in frequency but both of us know and sense that we will meet and will have a future together.

That is the story in brief and yes, I do have doubts.  Someone who has not experienced something similar could not possibly understand how beautiful love on the internet can be.  Although I don't know how our story will end, I do know that both of us feels that we could no longer live without the other!

Klari