The thought, as an airplane, plows through the waves of my mind.  The future hovers around me with uncertainty.  I can't find anything secure to hold onto among the many plans.  There are numerous opportunities.  You showed up in my bleak existence at a time when I was attempting to fit my plans into some kind of a future.  My soul was vacant and you seem to have filled that vacuum.  Perhaps there are things whose mere existence is to complement something.  It is possible that everything that exists has its own perfect match.  Our meeting is the wonder of coincidence.  My attempt may be likened to that of the scientists who sent up the Voyager in the hopes of a chance that someone at some time will discover its existence.  How minute the chance that it will go in just the right direction where some other life form will discover it and having done so is able to decipher its message.  Looking at it from this distance even a hundredth of a millimeter's worth of misjudgment could mean a fatal error.  Those who sacrificed to make this expedition possible had enormous faith.

I was lead by similar hope when I turned to the world wide web, giving myself at least the chance to have faith.  Then when you did step into my life it inspired tremendous stirring thoughts and feelings.  Thoughts about what a hurdle such a distance between us could mean, and whether or not you were truly my complement.  The latter was confirmed in me instinctively as we spent more time talking and corresponding.  To me this was frightening as I've never had such thoughts regarding anyone else.  It is strange that at such a distance you feel so near.  It is as though the nearness of two souls could bridge the distance.  There is nothing I could compare this feeling to.  I am anticipating the near future with excitement and expectation.  I longing to see, hear and feel the nearness of the person who could inspire such feelings within me from the unknown.

Thoughts such as these are my daily companions that make my days a little more difficult.  Fortunately I don't need to make any decisions nor do I see any reason to make any plans ahead of time.  I trust my instincts and allow my emotions to carry me along as I await with excitement the beginning of our first day together.  I don't know whether or not we could speak of love, but I do think of you often.  A warm feeling fills my entire inside and excitement mounts long before I pick up the phone to call you.  By the time I reach for the phone to dial my entire body trembles.  But it is not the same as trembling out of fright, or that of an alcoholic in need of a drink, but rather a stirring excitement from within that I feel.  I make an attempt to bring it under control before I dial as I think of what to say so I will not make any mistakes.  Once I hear your ‘hello’ on the other end everything goes smoothly and almost automatically.  So far, so good – at least I think it is.  It is this inner trembling that makes things so frightening.  It is so much like being in love, but I've never experienced such a feeling without actually having met someone.  I don't know, only time will tell if this is possible although the hope is built into our conversations and the events.

Perhaps the only thing to add is that I am hopefully looking ahead, awaiting the moment when time will prove my thoughts.  Until then I am hoping that my personal Apollo mission is on the right track.