Through the following letter we will be introduced to the darker side of chatting.
Words and lines that appear on the computer screen during an on-line chat certainly appear harmless enough, but often they cause pain to those who receive and send messages honestly and with a clear conscience (perhaps naively) while they attempt to meet others on the net.  There are also those out there to whom this is no more than a game, a role playing opportunity and they emotionally entrap those we mentioned earlier.

Dear Andrea!
I would like to write to you about a negative presence in the chat rooms that I became an unsuspecting victim of.  I don't know how wide spread this problem may be (hopefully not very) but I don't think anyone should have the illusion that only well intentioned souls use the internet.  There are plenty of cheats there as there are in the real world.  This statement is strengthened by the fact that in Hungary, to an overwhelming extent, the presence on the Internet is male.

Without giving away the point of my story let me begin by telling you that I clicked on a an online dating service chat.  (Other than the IRC there's an increasing number of these Java chat's that may be reached without a client program, because all the new Internet search engines support Java).  It was a lot of fun to be kidding around with the people in the chat room but my main reason to visit was to meet a girl.  The second day I visited again and began talking with somebody whose nick was “Julcsi”.  After a half an hour or so I assumed I was talking to an attractive, intelligent college student with whom we have similar interests and who appears to be interested in me.  We agreed to meet the next day on the chat, but she was not there at the agreed time.  I've waited for two hours without really initiating conversation with anyone so that I would not be ‘unfaithful’.  After a while someone with a male nick entered the chat and immediately wrote me saying he knows “Julcsi”.  We began talking but there were too many contradictions in the person's statements and to me it became clear that he knows little if anything of “Julcsi” based on what information she gave me of herself the day before.  In the end he confessed that it was only a hoax and that “Julcsi” is really a male friend of his who was in the chat all along and even talked with me when I entered.  The next day he was there again.  When I entered he left and some time later “Julcsi” entered the chat.  I must say I was not impressed.

Unfortunately, I also think the attitude of “Julcsi’s” friend is pretty typical.  He said I should do the same to him but don't let on that I found out from him.  I did not feel this is how I wanted to behave.  It is possible that there are people who think such things are funny, but I think it is really a selfish act from people without a conscience who rob people of their time to amuse themselves.  It is really not necessary to be smart or clever to do this, they need only vicious intent.

It is fortunate that earlier I've met people on the net that were correct and pleasant.  If this happens to me the first time out, it probably would have been my last attempt at finding a partner on line.
If you should publish my letter in the Internet Kalauz then perhaps others will be more careful and in this case I would have a few other suggestions:

Since I don't want some embacils to get ideas from this letter and play the same game I will say that as far as I know, if a chat server archives the data of the chatters then it is possible to look back and check who and when entered from which ISP or host address.  This information will allow you to check through the ISP and perhaps identify the individual.  If the chat provider also archives the chat text there is every evidence to make someone legally accountable – in more civilized societies there are penalties for such things.  I don't know what kind of legal avenues are available in Hungary to deal with this.  Because of my experience I've lost “only” several hundred Forints in telephone charges and a couple of wasted hours.  Others may not have fared so well and perhaps could have given out personal information, intimate things about themselves not to mention allowing their emotions run away with them only to find out that the ‘friend’ they've met told nothing but lies.  There are those who tend to forget that although the medium is virtual, the participants are real people with feelings.

I would like to mention a couple of things that should make people immediately suspicious in such a situation.  Hopefully, those who have not yet been hurt will not have to be in the future.

1) If someone appears to be overly desirable or perfect (highly intelligent, educated with many positive traits, no negatives, they are beautiful, rich, etc.)

2) Initially the person will ask many questions and give little or no information of themselves (evidently to find out those things that are important to you) and later his/her responses are amazingly like the ideal person you were seeking.

I would also advise the chatters of a couple of basic points:
1) NEVER give personal information on the chat that you would not provide to anyone.

2) NEVER tell anyone anything overly personal about yourself until you are 100% certain that the person you are talking to is ‘straight’ with you and the information you provide will not serve as amusement to somebody's sick curiosity.  You should suggest a quick telephone call fairly soon after you ‘meet’ to at least verify the individuals gender.