Hello Andrea,
I'm a 21 years old female who works in Budapest as a project assistant.  I read the Internet Love Story column regularly and especially since I had a couple of experiences that could be written about.  If I think about it, I never would have believed that a French boy from whom I've ‘met’ only two months ago in a chat room would come to Budapest for a week just to meet me!  A lot of time has passed since and our paths have parted.

Recently I spend many nights on the IRC (during the night) and I work during the day so cumulatively it is tiresome.  It is some consolation that I am not the only nut doing the same thing.  I thought about writing to you earlier but it was your November article that actually prompted me to do so.

I met a number of people on the IRC over the past six months, naturally the majority of the boys.  Those who are on during the night are either those who log on from home or those who stay at dormitories.  Luckily my case is the former, I have a computer at home and log on from there.  I agree with the girl who wrote that the IRC can be a dangerous place if one is not careful, although I would have to add some differing opinions also.  First of all in the beginning I also thought that all the boys there were emotional wrecks.  It turns out that it is not the norm although there are some.  On the that where I normally go I know almost everyone personally by now.  We are a good group most of them boys but there are a number of girls too.  I love the company of boys and I guess I'm of the same opinion in this as the  rest of the girls on the IRC at night.

In such a situation it is almost unavoidable for something more to happen than just become friends.  I do feel that relationships that form on the web are deeper and more permanent than those in reality (I had an opportunity to observe several couples who met on the IRC).  Mainly because they came to know each others inner selves, thoughts first then perhaps they see a picture of the person, but I think the important point is that neither feels any sense of obligation to the other.  This is different than if you meet someone at a disco, let's say, you go on a date and if it doesn't work out you can't just leave the person, you feel you have to explain or make something up.

Initially I too felt a temptation to mother some of the boys, the same way the article mentioned.  I think it's in our genes but fortunately I've learned how to handle those boys who tend to run me down and tell me they are in love.  I have to admit there were several people who professed to be in love and went on and on about me once they've seen my home page, but slowly I realize that one can be pleasant without being provocative.  I do believe since I practice self analysis often I realized why I do this.  In a way this is a form of self justification for me aside from the fact that I do like to meet people whether they'd be male or female, as long as they are communicative and original.  I like to catch on to people's wavelength much the same way as was mentioned in a former interview.  The other point is that when I go into the chat room, people are glad to see me, or we go out together to a party and I feel that I belong somewhere and that is a very important point.  I think the most important sense for everyone is to feel they belong somewhere to someone.

If it is not yet obvious, I'm not looking for a partner and especially a love on the internet as I've been going steady with the same fellow for close to 5 years.  It is a long time and we still love each other very much.  Unfortunately, there were times when my passing emotional affairs from the net spilled into the relationship and caused problems but we overcame them.  That too proves that we have a strong relationship and despite of problems we are still together.  Luckily he is not jealous and doesn't mind that I have my own programs as with this group, for instance.  He is very understanding and that is something very important to me as I love my independence.

That's what I wanted to share or rather add to previous comments.

Greetings,
Tunde